Posts

Pohon Mangga

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English version is available below. Flipped (2010), film jadul yang ga bosen gua tonton. Kali ini rasanya agak beda karena tersadar ada potongan film yang bikin gua relate. Adegan di mana Juli mempertahankan sebuah pohon besar yang mau ditebang di depan rumahnya. Juli menentang habis-habisan dan membela mati-matian karena pohon ini punya makna tersendiri buat Juli. Di seberang rumah gua, juga ada pohon besar. Sebuah pohon mangga yang umurnya lebih tua dari gua. Pohonnya gede, daunnya rimbun, batangnya udah menjalar sampe ke rumah gua, dan menjelma kanopi alam buat jalan depan rumah. Gua kurang tau ini mangga jenis apa, tapi tiap tahun dia selalu dermawan ngasih buah yang manis dan melimpah. Buat gua pribadi, kehadirannya lebih dari itu. Pohon mangga ini nemenin gua dari kecil. Tempat gua main sama temen-temen, tempat kumpul sama tetangga, dan tempat beli jajanan yang lewat karena abang gerobak seneng mangkal di bawahnya yang super adem. Waktu awal pandemi, hampir tiap pagi gua ...

The Art of Friendship - Kinan

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“Git, pokoknya ceritain dari lo dapet visa sampe balik lagi ke Indonesia.” adalah komen paling genuine yang pernah gua denger dari seorang sahabat. Gua baru balik liburan dari benua sebelah, dan Kinan excited banget buat denger setiap detilnya. Jujur, di titik ini, gua ngerasa terharu, dan menyadari betapa berharganya punya seseorang seperti Kinan dalam hidup gua. So, here we are, seating in a cozy café near Sudirman Station. Gua mulai cerita petualangan kemarin, dan beneran HARI PER HARI, sambil sesekali nunjukin foto dan video dari galeri hp. Gua nyerocos kaya kereta cepat Thalys biar semuanya tersampaikan, but sharing a detailed story of 21-day trip was not easy, hahaha. “Harusnya gua bikin PPT aja ya, sambil kasih foto, jadi lebih gampang nunjukinnya.” Kami pun tertawa. Kalo dipikir lagi, it’s a good idea tho! Gua dan Kinan ketemu saat kuliah, kami satu jurusan dan satu peminatan. Banyak momen yang kami lewati bersama sebagai mahasiwa. Salah satunya—dan yang akan selalu gua ing...

2024: A Wolf in Me

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This year, I grew as a person and saw the world a little differently. Despite everything that happened, I’m grateful for the presence of love in my life.   Health journey In February, I got hospitalized for 5 days due to ISPA (upper respiratory tract infection). It started when I felt pain all over my body and nerves, and then got fever. At first, I thought it was typhoid, as I had been hospitalized sooo many times for it when I was a kid. However, the lab results confirmed ISPA. Never ever in my life I got this illness. But I tell you, it was awful! I still don’t know where I caught the virus. My assumption is from a work visit to BSD a few weeks before. They said BSD is the most polluted city in Jabodetabek, but who knows. Another health issues I faced was my wisdom teeth. There was one whose position was really deep and difficult to remove. After 3 hours of extraction, my dentist decided to stop. A small part was still there, so I needed to come back 3 months later. The post-sur...

The Art of Friendship - Virgo

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Dari semua orang terdekat, mungkin persahabatan sama Virgo adalah yang paling bikin heran. Kaya, Kok bisa gua temenan sama Virgo? Karena Virgo ini anaknya super duper pinter banget—yang mana gua engga. Tapi, apapun itu, gua sangat bersyukur bisa kenal Virgo di hidup gua dan sahabatan sampai sekarang. Kami sekolah di tempat yang sama dari SMP sampai kuliah. Sekelas pas tahun terakhir SMP, tapi Virgo selalu sama geng anak pintarnya. Nah, kayanya baru lumayan deket itu pas SMA, karena surprisingly selama tiga tahun kami dapet kelas yang sama terus (tiap tahun diacak). Setelah kenal deket, ternyata Virgo anaknya sangat approachable dan humble. Kalau flashback, ternyata banyak juga momen bareng kami pas SMA. Mulai dari memuja boyband Korea yang saat itu lagi heboh-hebohnya, sampai tiga tahun berturut-turut masuk final Gabolisma (2x juara, 1x runner-up). Gabolisma adalah lomba voli antar kelas yang diadain pas class meeting. Kalau tanya Virgo, udah pasti momen yang paling berkesan ada...

32

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One week after my birthday passed and I haven’t started yet about my 32 reflections. Ideally, I put the points throughout the year, whenever I got something to tell or how I felt about certain things. And… it finished 1,5 months later. Felt tight recently. 1. My first point is always about health. Please take care of our health. 2. Listen to our body, we are what we eat and consume. 3. I got wisdom teeth removal for the first time, but it turned out not good. 4. A wisdom I really like: We don’t need to explain ourselves to the world. 5. My biggest change this year: Speak more straightforwardly and blatantly. And it feels good. 6. So, always be true to yourself. 7. Groceries are becoming more and more expensive! 8. Life might seem unfair, it’s just how the world runs. 9. Every time I got rejected from scholarships, I wished I was rich enough to pay for my education and I could study whatever I wanted. 10. Also, from these multiple rejections, I realized that acceptin...

Celebrating Failures

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Yesterday was such a long day at work. My team has been working on a major survey, set to launch next week. After work, I planned to work a little bit on my garden. The chili seedlings need to be moved into bigger pots as they already grow big. I was just stretching myself and then ready for gardening when an email came. It was from the Ireland Scholarship. I haven’t opened it yet, but tears welled up. I was kind of shocked because the announcement came a month earlier, and my emotional state was not ready yet. Also, I realize my chance of getting a scholarship is slim. I have failed. Again. This becomes my 16th attempt since I started pursuing scholarship opportunities in 2018, and might be the last one. Looking back at my relentless efforts over the past six years, I have been contemplating a lot recently. Should I try again? Or stop and move on? Deep inside, I still want to try it. The thinking of "not giving my best" haunts me, and I just don't want to feel regret in ...

2023: A Long Battlefield

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I was looking for some intro for this post when I read my 2022 reflection and found this sentence at the end of the post, “I hope 2023 can be more joyful, relaxed, and full of love.” I got shivered suddenly, because yes, I found love in 2023 :) A long battlefield I was about to bury my dream of pursuing a master’s program scholarship after six years of trying. I feel like I have given my best on each attempt, but the results said differently. It was a truly long and exhausting process. At some points, I was thinking that everyone should have an equal access to affordable education. We could study anything we want to study, without worrying much about the cost. After a long battlefield since 2018, I was ready to give up and think about chasing my other goals. But then, I met someone who changed my mind, someone who believed in me and my capability. And all this energy feels enough to keep me going. So, here I am, proving my resilience and trying those opportunities again, in the middle ...