Savana Rinjani

“What’s on your mind?” tanya gua secara random di tiga kilometer terakhir menuju basecamp . “Mmm... Capek,” jawab Arkha singkat. “What about you?” dia bertanya balik. “Indomie.” Arkha tertawa mendengar jawaban gua. Gua pun ikut tertawa. Siapa yang tidak memikirkan semangkuk mi hangat plus cabe rawit iris di tengah dinginnya gunung dengan ketinggian 3.000-an mdpl. Weekend ini, seperti weekend yang lalu-lalu, gua dan Arkha trail run ke gunung. Kami sama-sama setuju kalau tiga kilometer di gunung itu sangat berbeda dengan di kota. Kalau jalan di gunung, entah mengapa rasanya lama banget. Sampai akhirnya gua bosan dan melontarkan pertanyaan random itu pada Arkha. Sesampainya di basecamp , kami menuju satu warung tempat kami memarkir mobil. Gua sudah membayangkan nikmatnya menyantap mi hangat di cuaca dingin begini. Ditambah perut gua lagi laper banget setelah trail run 16 kilometer. Rencana gua adalah pesan mi sebelum mandi. Jadi, minya udah siap setelah gua mandi, gak perlu ...

Bulan Juni, ibu akhirnya berangkat haji. Setelah tertunda tiga tahun akibat pandemi. Bahagia dan lega tergambar jelas di wajah ibu yang sudah menanti-nanti ke tanah suci. Seperti setumpuk rindu yang terbayarkan. Sayangnya, ibu pergi sendiri. Bapak tidak bisa berangkat tahun ini karena terbentur satu aturan dari Pemerintah Arab Saudi: Khusus tahun ini, usia peserta haji maksimal 65 tahun per akhir Juni 2022. Bapak kelebihan sembilan bulan. Setiap hari, bapak dan ibu berkomunikasi via WhatsApp. Video call sesekali, tapi kebanyakan ngobrol di chat . Biasanya ibu kasih kabar agenda hari itu, atau aktivitas apa saja yang sudah dilakukan. Bapak bilang kepadaku bahwa ia tidak mau banyak tanya terlalu detil agar tidak mengganggu ibadah ibu. Kabar singkat saja menurut bapak sudah cukup. Yang penting bapak tahu ibu baik-baik saja dan sehat di sana. Suatu hari, sepertinya hari ke-11 atau ke-12, ibu tak kunjung beri kabar pada bapak hingga malam tiba. Bapak masih berpikir baik, mungkin agenda ibu ...

Just put it here as a reminder for myself. Lately, it just feels hard to be me, to be my own self who deeply cares for others. I found this reminder at the right time, and was thinking that these words are beautiful. The right person will know how to hold your love. The right person will choose you just as deeply as you choose them. You will not have to quiet the way you care, you will never feel like you are too much. You will not have to beg for the love you deserve. One day, you will be met where you are. One day, you will be someone's favorite thing, and you will not be confused — you will not feel like you are fighting for someone who isn't fighting for you. One day, you will understand that it never mattered how tightly you held on to the wrong people, how intensely you tried, because the right people were always going to find you. The right people were always going to stay. Source: Thought Catalog  

I turned 30 this year. A life stage I was a bit scared to enter because I saw myself as someone who is not mature enough yet as people at this age should have become. In the past few years, many things happened, and many things changed, especially my perspectives, insights, life values, and the things I perceive life. Four years ago, when I was 26, I wrote about Quarter Life Crisis (you can read it here ). It just feels nice to be able to go back to old posts because I can recall what I was feeling at that time, what I was thinking, what made me insecure the most, how I perceived life, and how I valued myself and others. In short, four years ago, I can say that I experienced QLC too; I saw my friends getting married one by one, or having remarkable achievements in their life, and honestly, I couldn't stop myself from not comparing. Like, Hey, I want it too! When my time comes? When the good things will happen to me? So, what it's like to be 30? We have our good and bad times Do...

Happy birthday to the love of my life. My 24/7. My everything. I know I cannot say any birthday greeting to you because you believe Islam doesn't celebrate this kind of life event (we might have a different view on this). So, let me share a little story about you here. You are the one who treats me like a princess Who never raises your voice to me Who continuously supports my dreams and encourages I can do it Who introduces me to nature and it changes my life forever, in a good way Every time I got home, you prepared hot water for my bath without asking and bought my favorite food You are the one who excitedly asks how my trip is going and becomes a good listener Who reminds me to solat 2 rakaat when I tell I face a hard time Who shows love unconditionally through the endless act of service, and unconsciously, gives me a picture of what kind of partner I want to be with in the future I feel blessed and lucky to have a father like you Sometimes I wondered if you are no longer in thi...

“Selamat pagi, Kawan. Jangan lupa sarapan.” Sapa seorang senior di WhatsApp Group (WAG) komunitas lari trail . Hampir tiap pagi beliau menyapa sambil kirim foto menu sarapan sehat berwarna-warni yang menggugah selera. Usianya 40+ tapi masih aktif berolahraga dan menjalankan pola hidup sehat. Terinspirasi dari foto-foto sarapan unggahan beliau, gua mau cerita apa aja yang gua makan dalam sehari. Sekalian buat dokumentasi pribadi biar gua inget pola hidup gua di umur 30. Sarapan ala Cak San Sebagai info, gua hidup sendiri (ngekos) dan masih WFH (Work from Home), jadi gua lebih sering masak sendiri. Gua bukan vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian, tapi coba nerapin pola hidup sehat. Fokus gua: 1. Pilih makanan raw , 2. Kurangi processed foods , 3. Usahain makan buah dan sayur tiap hari, 4. Kurangi makanan tinggi gula karena bokap ada diabetes. PAGI Menu: oatmeal + pisang + granola Oatmeal, salad, green tea Gua sarapan sekitar jam 8 dan sarapannya cukup simpel. Sejujurnya gua cenderung malas be...

I'm official “kepala tiga”! It is exciting and scary at the same time. Responsibility is getting bigger, while our energy is getting more limited. But, most of all, I was so grateful and happy to spend my special day vacation with close friends, surrounded by people I love and love me too. Ok, as usual, I want to share some points that sum up my life in the past year. IT IS NOT advice, wisdom, or life hacks, just a note of what I have been going through, so I can remember what it’s like on the way to 30. Here it is. 1.        Black dress never goes wrong. 2.        Fine dining always makes me delightfully fine. 3.        Ask our best friend once in a lifetime: Mau kado apa? It is very fulfilling. 4.        "Setiap manusia di dunia. Pasti punya kesalahan. Tapi hanya yang pemberani. Yang mau mengakui." – Sherina 5.        Yep, the hardest pa...

Tangis tak bisa kembalikan Apa-apa yang tidak ditakdirkan Juga tak dapat menjangkau Sisa-sisa romansa lampau Tangis tak bisa menukar rindu Sepanjang tak mewujud temu Ia tak sama dengan lemah Tak serupa pula dengan rendah Tangis adalah tanda sederhana Bahwa kau juga manusia Sebagian mungkin malu Tuk tunjukkan sisi itu Sini Kita urai gelisah dan air mata Tanpa pikir ini sudah jam berapa Sebab tiap rasa itu benar Tiap cerita perlu didengar Tumpahkan senyamanmu, duhai sayangku Kita rayakan hidup ini Sekali lagi

 “Habis nangis ketawa, habis ketawa ya nangis.” Ungkapan yang entah muncul dari jaman kapan tapi benar adanya. Minggu malam gua dan Kinan telponan. 2,5 jam. Kalo bukan karena udah masuk jam tidur gua, kayanya bisa lanjut sampe berjam-jam. Kaya biasa, banyak yang diobrolin, life updates . Karena kami jarang telponan, jadi sekalinya telponan ga bisa sebentar. Dan isinya lebih banyak ketawanya. Senin pagi, sekitar jam 10, lagi WFH, tiba-tiba gua keinget suatu hal yang bikin gua sedih, terus nangis. Mungkin karena malemnya abis ngobrolin ini sama Kinan, jadi keinget lagi. Sebuah fakta yang ga bisa gua ubah, sekeras apapun gua berusaha. Kalo ini terjadi, gua takes time buat bersedih dan lanjut berdoa dalam hati: Semoga hati ini makin diluaskan dan dilapangkan untuk menerima kenyataan yang ada. Ameen. Abis doa terlintas kalimat di awal, iya ya abis ketawa ya nangis. Shit.

2021 was a true definition of a roller coaster for me. It was lots of surprises, from the biggest laugh to the silent tears. But, most of all, I’m so grateful I’m still breathing until this time. Quick update, the pandemic is still here and I'm still practicing WFH. Okay, so here’s my highlight for 2021. I wrote it in order of time. 1.        Getting out of my comfort zone: A speaker One of my friends from a college organization asked me to be a speaker on his online talk show. At first, I softly denied it because public speaking is something I dislike since a long time ago. I just don’t feel confident talking in front of people, it makes me anxious. But, eventually, I accepted it. It was an online event so I thought I can handle it.   The event was live via Instagram for around an hour. I talked about trail running, the mandatory gear, and some tips for beginners. I was so nervous at first, but it went smoothly later. I started enjoying the talk and d...