2023: A Long Battlefield

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I was looking for some intro for this post when I read my 2022 reflection and found this sentence at the end of the post, “I hope 2023 can be more joyful, relaxed, and full of love.” I got shivered suddenly, because yes, I found love in 2023 :)


A long battlefield

I was about to bury my dream of pursuing a master’s program scholarship after six years of trying. I feel like I have given my best on each attempt, but the results said differently. It was a truly long and exhausting process. At some points, I was thinking that everyone should have an equal access to affordable education. We could study anything we want to study, without worrying much about the cost.

After a long battlefield since 2018, I was ready to give up and think about chasing my other goals. But then, I met someone who changed my mind, someone who believed in me and my capability. And all this energy feels enough to keep me going. So, here I am, proving my resilience and trying those opportunities again, in the middle of uncertainty, having no clue about what is waiting for me in the future. I just hope all my efforts will lead me to the best things in life.

 

Celebrate music, celebrate life

Despite my relentless pursuit of scholarship opportunities, I’m grateful I had great moments to celebrate life through music. Last year, I attended some concerts of my favorite artists: Blackpink, Radwimps, Coldplay, and closed by a beautiful anime orchestra in the end of the year. Each ticket was obtained through some chaotic ticket wars in Indonesia. My best friend said I’m a lucky bastard as I always successfully won the ticket in those crazy wars. Sometimes I thought, maybe it's just God trying to cheer me up.

Each concert felt magical, and yes, I cried in all concerts, hahaha. It felt unbelievable to see your favorite singers performing right in front of you—especially if they are foreigners who rarely visit Indonesia to perform. For me, music is a symbol of unity. It could gather people from diverse backgrounds and unite them through the language of melody. Magnificent, deep, and compounding a sense of belonging. I delightfully immerse myself in the beautiful songs and lyrics, putting aside the sadness and sorrow for a moment. It’s a pure joy. In the middle of uncertainty, being able to feel joy means a lot to me. Can’t wait for more music celebrations ahead!

 

A little thing called love

2023 was truly unpredictable. At the beginning of the year, I met someone. We talked a lot, sharing about our lives, hobbies, daily activities, anything. I was shy on our first talks, but thankfully, he is an excellent communicator. He answered each of my questions very well and asked me back. I think it’s important to have two-way communication, so we don’t feel it’s only us who initiates the talk. After spending time through many calls, I realized talking with him is a moment I treasure. I feel heard, seen, and loved. We come from different backgrounds and cultures, but that’s what makes our conversation exciting and colorful. At one point, I already given up on love, but this man changed it. Ich liebe dich, Schatzi.

I hope 2024 can be more festive, connected, and self-sufficient.


A beautiful day in Nami Island, South Korea



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